I've been lazy

But now I'll be gone for a while, so I have a reason to not post.

I'm going to be traveling around with the family for a few days, so I won't be posting, but I should be able to post againg on... sunday? or soemthing like that. I'll be in FORKS!!!!! on the second, same day the last book comes, out, so it could be crazy crowded. Who knows.

It sucks that it's illigal to sell your younger brother. I wouldn't ask much for mine, 100 bucks tops. He's such a pain. You have no idea.

So i'll talk to you all in a week!

DSHGIDIPFHHGIDFHKNGD:IG:F:BDROGBDBJESDJSB

ARGH.

I thought that today would be good after I saw cowboy, but NO. It was WORSE. URGH.

So I got to the place, and I was early, and the first thing I noticed that was a bit... off? was that I couldn't hear him sweeping. He has a distinc sweeping pattern that I recognise. And he WASN'T in there.

But some weird girl was. AND the horse wouldn't pick up his leg for me, so I had to let her do the picking. Which I love doing.

So we get out there and i'm just standing because I'm not leading, and I see cowboy coming down the ramp. AND HE LOOKS AMAZING.

Laydeez, picture this: Tight black t-shirt, dark wash jeans, not too baggy, not too tight, sunglasses, cowboy hat, and black boots. And picture... Young Brad Pitt/George Clooney face. YUM.

But he was working with a different class. Away from me. I must say, I almost cried.


Sorry that was ranty/badly written. I really needed/need to vent. Very sad about this still. Sigh.

Hope your day was better than mine.

Lets talk about mtv MADE.

I find some of it rather addicting. And then I find some of it rather dull.

Yesterday I happened to catch an episode in which a self proclaimed 'anime-manga geek' wanted to have a dream date to the prom. It was what I would call FANTASTIC. Because really, everything worked out. Sure, the guy she was crushing on turned her down, but then her MADE coach dragged her off to San Diego and she met a guy who she had TONS in common with, and he ended up asking her for her email address. AND THEN he emailed her that night. And she ended up asking him to the prom a week later or something. AND he came all the way up to Oregon to go to prom with her. AND she got a make over and looked amazing. AND he looked really cute in a tux. AND she had a great time. AND he kissed her.

I guess the reason I like that kind of MADE, it because they give me hope. Like, 'If she can have a great date to prom/meet a great guy/learn to skate board/snowboard/anything, then so can I!'

Just had to rant. Thanks.

Stuff and bother.

Don't have any clue what the title means? Maybe it was from Winnie the Poo? Possibly? No clue whatsoever.

So today I woke up at my friends house. Which wasn't weird because I spent the night there as it was her sweet 16. We went to see Mamma Mia, which was actually pretty good. I like musicals, and this wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. I'd give it 3 & 1/2 stars. Lots of random singing, random even for musicals. But there were lots of hot guys, so that was a big plus.

But anyhoo- I woke up at her house, and was one of the very few early birds. But I got to see her (older) brother, who I've had a crush on forever. I used to bother him all the time on MSN, and I told him that I liked him every chance I could, but he's really shy and found me really annoying, so it didn't work out. And the fact that I'm his little sister's friend would be weird. Ah well. I saw him smile for the first time since I've known him. It was pretty magical.

Then I had to go to a group math tutor, because my brain dies a bit when math comes up. The only cool thing about it was that you won candy for getting answers right. And there was a big test thing at the end where you had to find the volume of various boxes of candy to win them, and I ended up getting the biggest one, which had the hardest problem. It felt weirdly good, knowing that I was one of the smart kids for once.

How was you day? MATHTASTIC?!

They took my cowboy.

So today was volunteering at the horse thing again and I was EXCITED because Thursday is the day I get to work with cowboy. (if you have no clue what I'm talking about, read back a few posts.)but if you read the title, you will know something HORRIBLE happened.

They took my cowboy.

Yep, thats right, they went and assigned him to a different horse and person. So not only did I not have my cowboy to look at dreamily over the horse, but I had to side walk alone, with a girl who descided it sounded like fun to sliiiiiiiide over on the saddle. I really, really needed him. But the instructor stepped in so I had another side walker with me, but it wasn't the same.

But before class started, I did get some Jess-cowboy time. I was standing there again, alone, confused. Sad. And he comes up and goes "Can you get the number nine stirrups for me?" *DAZZLING SMILE THAT KNOCKED THE WIND OUT OF ME FOR A SECOND* So I had to learn to breath again and realize that he was asking my to help him tack the horse, inside the stall. With him. And so I go "Yeah, sure." and scurry off to get the stirrups.

And of corse I stood there like an idiot waiting for him with the stirrups because i couldn't remember where to put them. (it ended up being that i was supposed to set them on the ground.) and then he goes "Oh, I forgot the blue tack box." *DAZZLE* "Can you go get it?" me: *MELT* "Whu-? Oh, yeah, sure." Scurry.

And we continued on like that until the horse was tacked and I went to warm him up white cowboy tacked another horse. So I had a good time in the end. I guess.

BUT- in BIGGER news. The person who I am currently in love with (and who despises me. funny how it works like that) is away in another country, on another continent. And today I realised that I am getting nowhere fast wishing he would just love me again (he did for a while. those were good days.)and I need to get over him and just accept that all we can be is friends. Pretty good for something I thought up at 4 in the morning, huh?

Anything interesting happen to you today?

EDIT: I just did a super internet stalker thing and looked cowboy up on myspace. He's 21 (way too old AND illigal). Sigh. Not that it crushes my frail dreams or anything. No, but really, it's just a bummer. But hey, I still have eye candy on thursdays.

Letz talkz aboutz flairz

because it's a popular top these days.


if you don't have facebook (HOW DO YOU LIVE?!)then I'll tell you a bit about it. it's an application where you get a cork board and get to 'put' little 'pins' in it that say something about you. very helpful for inside jokes, etc. i am addicted, as seen by my flair below. (click to make see it bigger)

and you can also see that the flair application has not helped with my Twilight addiction.

TEAM JACOB FTW.

I know, I know. 'OMG everyone is so obsessed with those books.' Well it could be because they are AMAZING. And I'm sorry to say that My Harry Potter obsession died a bit (a LOT) when i read them. It was like reading a book that was MADE of epic awesome. BUT- I have a confession that might shock, astound or terrify you. I was one of the people who was given Twilight during the ARC (advanced readers copy) stage. And I HATED it. I get through the first chapter and was so bored I gave but back the next day. Oh god am I stupid.

But I made up for it by buying all three in hardback AND going to see the author. And I'm going to see her again. This time I won't get all jumpy when I walk up to her and blurt "I like Jacob."

Steph was so nice, she just went "Well I like him, too." and smiled, and then signed my books. And I died a little bit.

Sorry if that was epicly boring, but I had to rant.

Zac Sunderland

Now that kid is made of epic awesome. I always complain about how there is no way to have an old fashioned adventure these days, but here comes Zac to prove me wrong.

In case you don't know who he is (http://www.zacsunderland.com/blog/index.html that's his blog.) he's the 16 and 1/2 year old who is "currently sailing across the Pacific Ocean attempting to become the youngest person to circumnavigate the world alone by yacht." How amazing is that?

Anyhoo, lets talk more about adventures. I am a fantasy/fiction reader, so I have read a good number of amazing adventures and the like. I grew up a kid who dreamed of going to Never Land, finding buried treasure, sword fighting by the light of a full moon, dancing with a stranger only to run away as the clock chimed midnight. But as I grew up, I realized that if I carried a sword around, I would be arrested. And if I said my dream was to go to Never Land, people would think I was crazy. And admitting a midnight curfew would be social suicide. So basically, my adventure dreams were crushed.

For a while I even looked into becoming a modern day pirate, but I'm not techy enough for on kind, and not mean enough for the other. Fencing classes cost a fortune, and I never took ballroom dancing because i was always too busy. I couldn't even try to imagine a way to do the Never Land thing, join the circus maybe? Learning to do things on the trapeze might be like flying, but I'd never get anywhere.

Even the modern day adventures were out of my league. I couldn't imagine stowing away on a ship and getting stranded somewhere. I could never follow a trail of little blue envelopes across the Atlantic. There was no chance I was a witch, (i waited until after midnight on my 11Th birthday to go to sleep, just in case my letter came.) and I didn't have a weird power like Charlie Bone either.

But then here comes Zac with a real, actual adventure. Sure, he won't have to sword fight to the death to keep his ship, but he could (probably will) experience some killer storms, the kind that would make me want to curl up in a ball and not look until it was way over.

That is so crazy cool. Mad props to that kid. He's got guts.

What is (or was) your dream adventure?

of birthdays and such.

as requested by Charlie- my birthday is August 24. Which is in 30 days. YESSSSSSS.

so far, i have no clue what i'm doing for my sweet 16. we're middle middle class, so i'm not even thinking about one of those huge ones you see on tv where the girl whines to her dad about how her dress isn't the one paris hilton actually wore. or the car he bought her for a bazillion dollars isn't the right on, but OH WAIT! There it is! he bought them both just to suprise her more. Aw shucks daddy!

what I know for sure is that we are going to have a family BBQ on my actual birthday. We'll get my aunts and uncles and great ants and uncles and my grandparents and coousins and stuff down here and it'll be a big shindig. I'm actually looking forwards to that because I really like it when my family all gets together. It's fun.

But as for my actual party, i have no clue. for a while i was thinking about taking a small (like 5 people plus adults) group down town and doing the market and stuff, and then going to see an improv company that has a theatre right down there. But i don't know anymore. Because a lot of people are expecting to be invited to this thing, and I don't want to hurt people's feeling by taking a small group somewhere awesome, and then having a sleepover with all the people who didn't get to go. friends are so confusing.

what are your sweet 16 ideas? maybe they'll be awesome and i'll borrow them.

omg lyk shopping.

So I went shopping today, which I don't do all that much, because I don't like going out in public. (I'm too far from my computer i guess ;) ) But I went to the mall with my besties, and we went into all of the new stores and avoided the super preppy ones (Abercrombie&Fitch, Hollister, AE (i would have gone in but my friends hate it), and Aeropostale or whatever way it's spelled.) because i never fit into anything they have, being a person who is many pant sizes larger than most girls who go to those stores religiously, who's pant size is usualy about the same as their IQ.

There was a new Love Culture that I hadn't been to, so I looked around and tried tons of stuff on, but the largest pants size they carry was like 13, and i'm an 11. So that made me feel extra huge. And some girl in the dressing room, about my age (WITH A BABY. still manages to amaze me) was complaining about how she is a 4. And talking to her friends about how she hates being so fat. And I wanyed to smack her. But my friends and I were trying on skanky looking tops with less fabric than a victoria's secret thong, so I didn't want to expose me huge self to the world. Ah well.

I am going to upload a video before I go to bed, I filmed it yesterday. [Charlie I still think you should post videos some time. Your life sounds very interesting and people would love to watch you. Just saying.]

I bought the same top in two colors because it fit really well, 3 pairs of hoop earrings and some short shorts. And a pretzle. And soda. And I spent all but 3 dollars of the money i brought. Ah well, birthday is coming up. And being my sweet 16, I expect to rake in the dough.


How was your day? Interesting?

Horse teeth.

That was what I had to deal with today. Because I had volunteering again, and this time, I was leading. And the horse I was leading, was a bit nippy. As in he thought that by biting me, I wouldn't make him trot anymore. OH HO, not so. I just had to preform a modern dance type series of movements to avoid getting seriously bit.

AND the girl who was side walking for me was a total back seat driver. She kept slapping the horse's hind quarters to get him to move when it was MY job to deal with the horse, and HER job to deal with the rider. So of course, he bit me because she was hitting him and he didn't like it. AAARRGGHHH.

On another topic:
Yesterday I was at a BBQ for my brother's friend's parents. And so a bunch of people were there and I was the only teenager. So obviously the cute little boy chose me to follow, but that's OK, because I like kids. So when we ate dinner, he asked me to come sit at his table with him. I went ahead and agreed, while the adults laughed, because they knew that it was a plastic 'little tykes' table. i did not. nor did i fit in the table so i ended up sitting sideways and leaning around. Not fun.

But after a while he got tired of me so I went to sit on the swings and call people and keep busy, but the cute kid followed me. So i waited to call until he got bored. And he quickly did, but not before spreading a little self doubt.

Boy: Why is your tummy so round?
Me: What? (not understanding)
Boy: Do you have a baby in it?
Me: No. I just had too many donuts.

How's that for a self esteem killer??? He was barely THREE.

And I am not fat, just slightly out of shape. Ugh.

Just an update

My shoulder hurts like crazy from yesterday. I had to hold it at a... 120 dagree angle for over an hour. ouchhhh.

I'm gonna go play me some Neopets.

epic win.

Stuff. and Things. And other Things.

The title was a bit off today, dear reader. Sorry, my imagination is focused on other things right now.

so today was my first day volunteering at the therapeutic riding center. and it was AMAZING. i don't think i have ever had a more awesome time with people i don't know. just fyi, therapeutic riding is like therapy, if a horse was your therapist, and for volunteers, there are two positions. leader, or sidewalker. leaders are in charge of the horse, and sidewalkers are in charge of the rider. and i was a sidewalked with this guy that we shall call cowboy. because i don't use names, obviously.

so cowboy, we are calling him that because of his hat, a cowboy hat, obviously. so when my mother dropped me off, i had no clue what i would be doing. it was my first time and i didn't see my name with either of the horses for that session, so i was worried. and cowboy was there sweeping, so i thought he was like a barn hand or something. but before i get into him, let me say that he did have one flaw. two really, one were his city boy sunglasses, and the other were his jeans. then again, they might be his stable jeans, because you do get quite dirty. but they were annoyingly 'mom-jeansish'. and that scared me a bit.

so i was standing there, sad and alone, and this really awesome lady with a British accent steps up to me and goes "have you worked with horses before?" and i say, "not really" and she says, "well then, you can just work with me today and i'll show you the ropes!" we will call her Q, because the letter Q was on the pocket of her shirt. she was so nice to me, and it was really the thing that made me at ease. every time i messed something up, she would really quietly remind me of what to do or where to be, and then it saved me the embarrassment of being told what to do in front of cowboy, and also showed me what i should be doing. she won't be there for the next 3 weeks, so i guess cowboy and i will be pretty tight by the time she comes back.

but the girl i worked with today was really sweet, and i think she went to my school last year. but so cowboy and i were sidewalking on either side, and we were in charge of keeping her focused and making sure she understood the instructor's commands. and so we had to keep making eye contact over the horse, and he would always smile, or laugh, and he worked SO well with the girl. lots of people would have been unnerved by the fact that she often made loud, strange noises, but i'm used to it from working with disabled kids in school, and he would just quietly remind her to keep her voice down so she didn't scare the horse. he was just sooooo sweet.

but he was also just sooooo 18-22. and i'm barley passable for 16, and i'm 15. i used to be told i looked older when i was younger. and now i look older, people don't say it much anymore. i used to like thinking i was special, looked older than i was. but i guess everyone tells little kids that. ah well. cowboy could be 17, who knows. or he could be 28. i am a bag judge of age.

so that was my day. hope yours was just as great.

was it?

I'm home!

And here is what I did:

Read.
Slept.
Ate.
Read.
Read.
Oh, and then I read.

Not the best vacation, but I got to catch up on some reading. Better post once I'm more awake.

I'll be back.

I am off to grandma's house, where dial up internet still rules. So i think I will be able to get on and update, but i am not sure.

I'm flying home on weds. so i will be posting fo sho on thursday.

I will miss you all (Charlie.)!

Bye!

Ratz. A deeper look inside the horrible movie.

Because Charlie gave me a reason to rant on the movie Ratz. Thank you!

So the movie is Ratz, and here is the plot. Luckily, I had read the book, otherwise I might have had to listen to the horrible play by play from the girl who played main character Marci.

We get a bit of history about her and her BFF Summer (who's father invented fake saliva) and a bunch of random information NO ONE CARES ABOUT. By this point I wanted yo scream "Get to the movie already!" because it was like watching a really bad movie trailer before watching the movie. But eventually we actually get into the movie, and let me tell you, if my orthodontist had done that to my mouth, i would have been very upset.

So I'll skip to the next important (I use air quotes around important) bit. If I didn't skip to the 'important' parts we would be here all day. So Marci and Summer are upset because they don't have dates to the Spring Fling, which is held during the spring break. When they could be out doing other things. Weird. But they work for this woman Doris, who loves her soaps. Strangely, she looks a whole lot like her favorite soap star. Hmmmmm.....

Doris discovers a ring in her 'antique'/junk store and discovers it has... Wait for it, wait for it! MAJIK POWERZ!!! (Just got side tracked by a Sonic commercial, which they like to tease us West Coast kids with, because there aren't any for a trillion miles). When you wear it, and wish for something, you get it. She wants perfect vision- BAM. She wants different hair - POW. The girls discover her and while at the store, fight about the dance and boys, etc. Doris tries to make boys for them to go with, but they don't appear. And she is sad, and they leave her with her soaps so she can settle into depression alone.

BUT she wishes for the soap star's body, clothes hair, etc. and WOWEE! She gets it. AND she just so happens to have turned a couple of rats into an adorable pair of boys, with their frosted hair and movie star grins, they scream 90's. But the girls argue about 'keeping them' and Summer's mom ends up in the mix, believing they are exchange students from Sweden. They learn fast, and can suddenly say Sweden. Golly.

The girls take them to the mall, where the popular girl is like 'OMG they are cute boys. OMG they are with those sad little girls. OMG i will save them.' in usualy mean girl getting what she wants fashion. AAAARRGHGGH. I hate those stereotypical girls. But so the boys are attrackted to her cheezeburger, which was total sexual innuendo if you ask me. The loser girls end up luring them away with fries.

They buy a rat training book, and the subject of the rat boys only wanting to eat, run on their wheel and mate is breached. omg horny teenage rat boys. ohnoes.

So they pretty much go to the dance and the whole story gets tied up with sneaking out, being grounded, Doris falling in love with the handyman. Mind you, this is only one plot, the main one. There were about 4 going on through the movie. But I only paid attention to the boys.

But the mean girl gets it in the end, and Doris gets the handyman. And the boys become rats again. And Marci keeps them in her room.

It wasn't the worst movie ever, but between the flower power animated scene switching and the bad acting, I found it hard to stay interested. The book Rat Boys or something, is better, but not by much. I read it in an afternoon after buying it at one of those super book sale places.

Night y'all.

SO

I made a new title thing, but I got the size wrong, so it's a bit off on one side. But I don't care. I'll fix it later.

So I was bored and watched some free movies On Demand, because it kills time, and so I watched Ratz. Which was awful. The money they saved of actors was all spent on awful 90's clothes. The only good part was that the rat boys were really cute and the 'twins' were bearable, and so I ended up just fast forwarding through all the parts where the girls talked to get to the parts where the boys go "Sweden!" or "Mini van!" In other words my day was super dull.

The worst part was that I have actually READ THE BOOK that the movie was based on, and it was just as bad, only the characters didn't look like sad little preteen girls with hot guys in my mind. They were regular teenage girls who happened to be hanging with adorable guys. URGH.


How was your day? Hopefully it was better than mine.