Sorry

That I haven't blogged in a while. And Sorry that this is nothing more than a short apology. My new year's resolutions are, a) the get no eye contact guy to like me, and b) blog/vlog more often.

I actually have a really interesting blog idea that will be interesting if you guys give me some feedback, but it will take a bit of time to work out how i'll do it in a nice way. Hmmmm...

Well, I just wanted y'all to know I'm wishing you a happy new year, and I'll be back in full form next year.

Love you guyssssss!
Jess

RANDOMNESS?!?!

YES! The crazy Jess you know & tolerate is back!

So I thought I would tell you good people about a dream I had.

So I "wake up" in my dream, and I take a shower and get dressed in this hideous (in my opinion) pink gingham dress and these really cute heels and go downstairs. But it's not my house. It's very 50's looking, but me in the dream doesn't seem to realize that this isn't my house, just me watching the dream does. Oh, and I had ringlets. Like, naturally. How weird is that?!

But here's where things start getting weird. I'm making scrambled eggs and toast, but I'm making like, mountains of eggs, and piles of toast, enough to feed at least 10 families. And I'm putting all the food onto plates, and there are tons of plates.

And then these adorable little blond twin girls come in and go "Morning mommy!" and I reply "Good morning girls! Come have some eggs," and they each eat a serving of eggs and I kiss them on the cheek and hand them each a little metal lunch box and send then out the door.

And then in comes No-Eye-Contact-Guy, looking very Cary Grant in a nice suit, and I hand him a piece of toast and kiss him on the cheek, and he says "I'm off to work, see you at five!" and goes out the door.

But I keep making eggs and toast. And a little boy comes in, and says "good morning mommy!" and I give him food and kiss him on the cheek and send him off to school. And my friend Artur comes in, and I hand him a piece of toast and kiss him on the cheek, and he says "I'm off to work, see you at five!" and goes out the door.

And the dream just kept going. Different children with all the different guys I know, and it just kept going. Really, it was a nice dream, very happy and cheery.

Wonder what it means....

"let it snow, let it snow, let it snow"

Everything is back and i'm very happy. Thanks for the concern!

So, today was a snow day, and tomorrow should be as well, and I plan on making a video. Sorry that this is "hella" short, but i am "hella" tired.

Love you alllllll!
xx

guess who's living a nightmare?

i am!

I woke up this morning, to snow (!!!!!) and got myself some breakfast and decided to long on to the computer. Like usual.

But my Internet was acting up, so i decided to restart the computer, give it a few minutes to chill out, and log back on.

So, as I go to log on, some error message pops up about my user file being corrupt, or something. (i was not smart enough to actually read the whole thing. WAY TO GO, JESS!) And after it just stopped loading, I had to restart it again.

So for the third time today, I go to log on. and it takes a hellishly long time, enough to so that I just start going "pleeeeeease work, pleaeeeeeease work" under my breath in a very monk-like fashion, but it logs me on.

And, what do you think had happened, kiddies?

Every single picture, song, document, and most of my programs are gone. that 1200+ pictures, at least 900 documents, and somewhere around 1300 songs, oh, and, ALL of my favorites. Even Firefox and MSN messenger are gone.

And what's better yet? My number one techie won't pick up her phone.

Excuse me while i go throw myself off a cliff.

xx

So, here's the thing;

Celtic Thunder was absolutely fantastic. It was beautifully put together, their voices were astoundingly perfect, they all looked amazing, everything about it was stellar. I would actually go so far as to cal it the second most life changing event, after journalism camp this summer.

We had pretty good seats. We weren't nearly as close as I would have liked to be, but we could see everything. The majority of the crowd was over 60, had a walker, wheelchair, or cane, and smelled funny. And then there was also the skanky superfans (not me, i was very clothed) who came decked out in hardly anything.

The opening (Heartland, look it up on YouTube. It's even better in person) actually made me cry. Not for any real reason, apart from that ti was so powerful, like, it was such a rush that i was actually there, watching them live.

I lost most of my voice screaming at the top of my lungs whenever Keith or Damian came on stage.

Oh, and I bought this shirt:

(woah, my arms are totally not that skinny. the whole picture is wonky, but it shows the shirt.)
no, they aren't actual signatures, they're printed on, but i still think it's super cool.

So yeah, this whole thing got me thinking about life changing events.

you could share some of yours if you really wanted to.
=]

I

went through a period of my life where I was really in to RPing. And I focused mainly on those of the "Warriors" (cat books) variety.

And they were all off MSN groups, and so now I have like, 7 people on my MSN Messenger contact list that are from various RPs. And I don't want to delete them, because I can't remember who they are. And it feels rude to delete someone I don't know.


Celtic Thunder tonight!!!!

AHH! So excited!!

Non-Celtic Thunder things (MYSPACE STYLE, YO!)

(don't worry, I will have a big, gushing post about the show when i get home sunday night of monday after school. Possibly pictures of me in my spirited clothes/a t-shirt i may or may not buy. hmmmmmmm.... STILL EXCITED THOUGH!!)

Stole this from James (j0ames) who stole if from Johnny (JohnnyDurham19)

1. What's your name?
Jessica

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
Big sweatshirts with jeans

3. Last thing you ate?
(am eating) "Toasted Oats" aka, Safeway brand Cheerios

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
Sushi bars. Yucky.

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
"I'm taller." I win more than half the time, even if I'm not taller.

6. Last person you hugged?
My pal Emylee

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Hmmm, hopefully

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Possibly.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
My height. I love being a tall kid.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
Burger King! Hamburger, pickles only and a large fry. Yum.

11. Who is your best friend?
Alexis and Allison, followed closely by my entire newspaper staff (especially Artur).

12. What time of the day is it?
5:41 pm

13. Who/What made you angry today?
Friends being.... Less than nice to each other.

14. Baseball or Football?
Football. It's a bit more exciting to watch, in my opinion.

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
No.

16. Favorite type of Food?
THAI FOOD! (aka food of the gods.)

17. Favorite holiday:
Fall/Autumn. It's the rainiest/foggiest/most miserable season around here. But on occasion it's amazing, and I love it.

18. Do you download music:
Yes I do.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Haha, not really. I just need somehting to keep my feet warm. (I know, I know, ew.)

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
They're only cool if you actually can read and write in chinese, otherwise you look like a total POSER.

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Haha, James? Why not, apart from the fact he lives across the pond and doesn't know me, I see no problem.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Yes. It was groovy.

23. Do you love anyone?
Hmmm, yes. I realized that today. I love No Eye Contact Guy. (WOAH! BLAST FROM THE PAST) I don't know why. I just do.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
Not really. Just be natural, go with the flow, you know?

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
I want to someday.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
No. I would die. Fo shizzle.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Um, I don't thin so. Unless a drunk guy shouting at me in a bowling alley counts.

28. How many pets do you have?
3. A dog and two cats. My babies. :)

29. Have you met a real redneck?
I am related to real rednecks. Yikes.

30. How is the weather right now?
It's a bit chilly.

31. What are you listening to right now?
CELTIC THUNDER!

32. What is your current favorite song?
Caledonia and Lauren & I by CELTIC THUNDER!

33. What was the last movie you watched?
The Polar Express. I love christmas, and I love Tom Hanks, so it works out nicely.

34. Do you wear contacts?
Nope, they are scary. Glasses all the way.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
School. Blah.

36. What are you afraid of?
Being abandoned.

37. How many piercings have you had?
Just my ears.

38. What piercings do you want?
Possibly lip, eyebrow or nose. (I know, so punk. But i couldn't pull it off.)

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
I have no clue about anything.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Hot cocoa, no whipped cream.

41. What Magazines are you reading?
Seventeeeeeeen!

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
No, I'm all bow and arrow. ARCHERY WINS!

43. Are you missing someone?
Hmmmm.... Not really.

44. Favorite TV show?
Gilmore Girls. It was amazing, and I still watch the reruns.

45. Do you have an obsession with WoW?
I do, but I don't play it. (lame)

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Hmmm... Only by my mother, hahahahaha. (double lame)

47. What celeb do you look like?
I don't.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
CELTIC THUNDER'S Keith or Damian. They are hawt.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Dances with Wolves, Pride and Prejudice, there are quite a few.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yes, I do. :)

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
Probably.

52. Favorite smell?
New tennis balls! I don't know why, I just love them.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Butter. Drowning in butter if it's the make movie theater stuff. (my arteries hate me)

54. What's something that really bugs you?
How people are just stupid and close minded about things.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
His music is bomb. He is hella scary.

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
Burger King. Taco Bell is icky.

57. What's your favorite perfume?
I use one of those Mary-Kate and Ashley ones.

58. Favorite baseball team?
Mariners! Yeah, they suck, but you've gotta support the home team!

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
No, I have not.

60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
Never a whole day.

61. Last time you went bowling?
Wow, in like.... 8th grade. That was where the drunk guy yelled at me. Haha.

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
Sitting uprights on a couch in my friend's basement.

63. Who was your last phone call?
My uncle

64. Last time you were at work?
Two weeks ago when i was at the horse thing. I am applying for a real job soon, though.

65. What's the closest orange object to you?
My bowl of "Toasted Oats"


Hope you guys have fun weekend plans!
You can tell me about them if you like.

xx

90th post?!

this is crazy.


BUT my reason for posting this is crazier.







I AM GOING TO SEE CELTIC THUNDER LIVE ON SUNDAY.

OH



MY



GOD.


tears have been shed over that.

i'll have more info when i'm calm and not screaming and crying.









They look kinda lame, but I love them.


AND I LOVE YOU!
I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!




Hyper posting not the best idea.

xx

My dream husbands

i guess it's just the sweet little American girl that i was raised as, but i wish i could marry a crooner. i don't know what it is about Bing, but he always held so much promise to me. he was always smooth, always knew what to say. he always looked polished and neat, he could pull off that pipe, too. he didn't look like some boy trying out daddy's pipe, he was just the pipe smoking type.

and that voice, it was so him. some of those guys you you heard their voices and then saw their picture and you were like, 'wow, that's the guy with the amazing voice?' but with Bing, he looked like his voice. You could picture him sitting there at the piano, singing something he had just whipped up. (then again, we saw him do just that in about every movie he was in) he had those dashing good looks, the perfect voice, the right clothes, the smooth way with the ladies. yeah, Bing was a pretty perfect dude. it's not surprising that he's still stealing hearts beyond the grave. with movies like White Christmas and Holiday Inn still being holiday staples (at least in my family), I expect him to keep doing just that for many years to come.




and there's also this guy. Richard Bernard “Red” Skelton. i'm a sucker for a funny guy, and Red is one of my all time favorites. his show gives me some of my best inspiration when it comes to comedic improv. another good looking guy, he was more entertaining than about half of today's TV shows combined. he also seemed like a guy you would love to sit down and have a conversation with, like you would be too busy rolling on the ground laughing to keep up your end, but you'd always walk away feeling like you really got something out of it.




And so there was my post of substance. I've been getting in the holiday spirit and both Bing and Red are popular in my family, so I'm seeing two of my best boys rather frequently recently. But it just goes to show what has happened in our society. it was Andy Warhol who said "Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes." and that has, sadly in some cases, become true. But I'm proud to be part of a society that can still admire the oldies and see that there used to be really people with real talent. None of these disgusting reality TV stars that are popping up more and more often. But luckily Mr. Warhol was right, and they die off rather quickly.

So here's to you, old movie and television stars. Thanks for being so terrific. Thanks for giving me something to look back on and say, 'if it happened once, it can happen again.'

Hope you guys are all getting in the holiday spirit. Have a hot cocoa and pop in some of Bing's holiday stuff, and know that I'm here, wishing you the best.

xx

Fail.

Today, this is not Jessica's Crazy Opinions, or whatever it is this thing is called. This is the FAIL Blog : Jessica Edition.

Because lately my life has been a fail. Not saying it hasn't been good, but it just hasn't been the way I would usually like it.

First off, NaNoWriMo. Yeah, still at the same 1,909 word count or whatever I said last time. Next year, maybe I'll be more focused. But I had a really good story idea, so I'll work on that through the next year, see how it goes.

Secondly, school in general. Apart from newspaper, which is like a safe haven from the craziness of the world. I'm doing fine is school, acceptable grades, not getting in any trouble, etc. but I'm just not.... Into it. I know, shocking, right? That a teenager would not be into school. It's a flipping revelation! But I usually quite like school. It's just, hmmm. I don't know.

BUT, on the WIN side of life:

Newspaper is amazing. We had a "love circle" yesterday where we just tossed a ball around and complimented each other. I love that kind of heart to heart stuff, so i had fun.

And I've got some cool new friends. Which is always a plus.

And Charlie isn't gone. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!



xx
jess

Have I posted yet today?

Because I seriously can not remember. And I'm not going to check, because I am feeling lazy.

Here's what's up:

I filmed some stuff today. But my editing software has disappeared. And it was shaping up to be an interesting/artsy type video (which Charlie would have approved of.)

SPEAKING OF WHICH; CHARLIE IS GONE!!!?!?!?!!!!!!

This makes me sad. More sad than you know. Because it does not matter that I never met her in person, nor will I ever, but she was the first real commenter on my blog. And she left really nice comments, and we exchanged writing pieces once. And she was there to talk me through a really confusing time.

And now her blog is gone. After she slowly started to drift away. And in a way, it's like losing contact with a childhood friend. You know you can live without them, because all you really did was learn how to count and how tie your shoes, together, but you really don't want to let them go. Because even if you can go on, you've still lost something.

And now I know that like, one person will read my blog. Which isn't really the point, but it was really cool knowing someone was willing to read it and put a good amount of thought into a really nice, long comment.

Really, it kind of kills a bit of my will to blog. But this isn't the straw that will break the camel's back. I can recover from this.

But still. No one likes losing a friend.
I miss you, Charlie. =[

Wouldn't life be better

if you were a puppy?

All you would do is sleep, eat, and play.
And everyone would love you. No one would send mixed signals. No one would be out of your league. No one you know would life a million miles away.

It would be so easy.

But you aren't a puppy. You're a person. Like me.

Darn.

TGIF!

Sweet. A 3 day week this week. I loved it.

And I got to know one of my newspaper guys better. Two of them actually (playaaaaaa).

But this weekend I want to make a video. (HA! how many times have you heard that?) Because my camera is charged and I have some ideas. YAY!

Possibly filming outside if it's nice enough. Hmmmmm.... Or possibly filming outside if it isn't nice. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Any weekend plans?

Jokes

Take a trip with me down memory lane.

Remember being a kid again.

Five, maybe six or seven.

Do you remember all those jokes you used to tell? The ones with the obviously punchlines that made you laugh until you cried, and made your parents and friends giggle along?

Remember this joke? "Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!" Do you remember hearing it for the first time, thinking that it was the most awesome thing you had ever heard?

I miss that.

I miss my frivolous childhood and those little giggles that punctuated silences that were never awkward. I miss telling jokes without a hint of sarcasm, just for the pleasure of the person receiving it. I miss jokes that were not intended to hurt someone, that don't end in "your mom!"

I miss jokes that are funny.

I miss jokes that don't make you think. My current favorite is like a history lesson in a snappy format.

Q: "If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?"
A: "An airplane."

Because in this joke, the second 'right' is to be taken as 'Wright' as in the aviators.

Why can't things just be funny these days? Why can't they just BE.

16 and I've already lost my childhood.

Fabulousity at it's best

So recently, my life has been good (contrary to my last post, which was not about me. sorry for any confusion.). My social life is booming, my academic life is... Well, academic. And mentally, I'm more than 80% stable. Which is pretty fabulous.

So here's a recap of things that have recently happened in my life that I've been too lazy to blog about;

I had a massive project on Italy, the first in my advance/IB history class, and so I was pretty much spending every moment at home working on it. And then I could not find the right outfit to wear for the presentation, and I did my presentation notes last minute, and my PowerPoint slides would not work with my partner's, etc. But In the end, my stress and hard work paid off, because I got an A. Which I am very, very happy for.

General Twilight pandemonium. A ton of the guys at my school have been reading them, as well as us girls, and I've been having more and more really interesting discussions with them. They point out all kinds of things I did not notice.

The Green Mile (based on Stephan King's serial mini-series (or whatever you call it) The Green Mile) was on TV, and it's the only one of his movies that I like. So I got the book at my library, and am reading it. And it's really really good so far. Yay!

NaNoWriMo hasn't actually been going so well. I plod along, not making my word count, but I'm still having fun. I might not win this year, but I'll try again next time. My plot is still very, very, very hazy.

The second issue of my school paper is in the works, and I got assigned the story I really wanted (The Negative Effect of Video Games on Society) and it's... Coming along. It's due Wednesday, which brings up the next good thing...

Four day weekend! Thank you Veteran's Day!

I've been talking to Ben (of the 1107 variety) a bit more recently. That's always really nice, if not a tad bit depressing.

Dan (co writer of my other blog. well, he would be if he actually POSTED now and then!) came over again, and we hung out and were awkward and ate salad (some of us more than others) and walked around my neighborhood and talked about Monty Python a lot. He's a pretty rockin' dude.

Possibly the best one:
One of my best friends turned 16, and her birthday party was at a dance studio, for open swing dance lessons. It was possibly the most fun I have had in a long, long time. Because I was a 'follower' (aka chick), I rotated around the circle, dancing with every guy in the class. Sometimes this was cool, when there would be a guy who I could laugh with about how much I sucked at swing dancing, and not so cool when I had to dance with this older creeper type guy who wouldn't take his eyes off my face. Which is probably the best place he could keep them though...

And after the 1/2 hour lesson, it was just free-dance time from 8:30 to midnight. Which was terrific. I danced with all the guys in our group, and got picked up and dipped so low my feet left the ground. And I taught all the guys the girl's part, which they enjoyed. The best part though, was when the dance instructor just randomly came up and asked me to dance. And obviously, he was super good at it, but he was so good that it actually made me look good. And I had a blast dancing with him, and he said I was a very good at 'improving as a follower' because he would do all kinds of tricky moves and i guess I just followed his lead well. I'm totally going back and bringing more friends. It was really, really, really fun.

But yeah. I think that's all I needed to update. I'll try to do it more often...

How can a person...

How can a person feel so happy, and still be so sad?
How can a person who does not believe in God be so afraid of hell?
How can a person you've never met make such a huge difference in your life?
How can a person you know far too well make such a small difference?
How can somone not care what direction their country goes in?
How can a person have no clue where they want to go one day, and have life mapped out the next?
How can a person be so infatuated, and yet not want anything from them?
How can a person have so many questions, and not want answers?

NaNoWriMo

If you need inspiration to write, my advice is to listen to that. I have had it on repeat for the past two hours.

But I can't talk much today. A combination of NaNoWriMo and school have me pretty busy. NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) has taken place for the past ten years, and this will be my first. It's a month long even in which you write a 50,000 word novel. And if you 'win' aka, finish, you get a certificate. It's awesome. So far, my plot is going everywhere, but that's OK. It's gonna be awesome.

And secondly, Halloween was bomb sauce. I went trick-or-treating (at 16, hellz yeah!) and got a ton of candy.

Well, I have to finish my 1,667 words for the day. I'll get back to you whne i have a more defined plot, maybe I'll even give you a snippet. Hmmmm...

Cheers.

Another letter

Dear you,

It was really cool of you to offer to come to my place when our original plan would not work. It was also really cool that you not only came to my house, but you talked to my family (all 7 of them) without being like "oh jeez, these people are annoying." And I just wanted to let you know, the consensus was that you were a "nice" and "sweet" boy, and also "a great guy". Although papa did say "he's a bit thin though. You'll have to feed him!" (but he still liked you, despite your lack of muscular bulk) And also when I bridged the subject of you possibly driving with me in the car someday, mother actually said "I'd consider it." Please note: just won't even let me ride with my best friends. Feel special. And my dad saying you could come back anytime?! He pretty much chased the last guy out of the house.

Your sweater deserves a paragraph of it's own, because my thoughts seem to linger on it as I run through the events of the past seven and a half hours. I loved it. It was possibly the best sweater with character I have ever seen. You were right, the whole shapeless sweater thing looked pretty cool on you, and I'm glad you didn't go with your sister's suggestion. You've inspired me to make a thrift store run in the near future and get myself one. It's not the same, of course, but I figure that if you can pull it off, I can pull it off slightly less well, yet pull it off all the same.

I realized as you were walking out the door that I should have said something like "call me when you get home," because that is what a caring buddy would do. And now that I've brought up buddy, I think that we can go to being actual friends now. Because buddy is too light a term for this awesome friendship.

Well, I'm rambling, and tired, and have a lot of my mind, and homework to do, and volunteering early tomorrow morning. But I guess what I wanted to get across was that I'm really, really glad you came over. And for like, the 10th time today, I say: we have to do it again. And hopefully not wait another 3/4 months or whatever it was. Maybe lunch, maybe a football game, where we can watch FOOTBALLERS tackle and stuff. I don't know. But we just have to do it again.

I'm off to bed now, but not before running through that one file of pictures, what was it called again? Oh yeah, 'this folder proves I am a stalker'. Nice.

Best wishes & love & peace & all that good stuff,
Jess

A new blog post

in which Jessica talks about the fact that she can't keep it in her parts (among other things).


So, yeah, it's been a while, I know. But I really didn't have any inspiration for a while. And now I do. So here goes another post about my tragic love life.

First off, it's not so tragic. It's fine. I have tons of guy friends, and I could probably make a few of them into "something more" (at different time, mind you). But it's just that I guess I'm... Young and naive. I can't handle coed friendships without seeing something more, and most of the time, wanting it. Which really sucks.

So there's a few guys, currently, and I'm very... Conflicted. There's bachelor #1, who's mysterious, gorgeous, and all together the perfect guy. Any mom would LOVE him. But the big problem with him is that his mysteriousness makes him seem distant. And there's bachelor #2, who is adorable, hilarious, and all together amazing. He's a terrific writer, and well, adorable. Problem? I think he has a thing for my friend, and she just naturally flirtatious, so it probably seems like she returns these emotions. So that makes me sad. Bachelor #3? He's probably the one that would be easiest to "get". He's sweet, funny, and shows interest in me. Which is kind of rare, I must admit. And did I mention he's funny? Bachelor #4 might as well not be in this list. Nothing's going to happen. Ever. And I just need to GET OVER IT. And bachelor number 5? He's kind of a last minute addition. Almost an afterthought, but don't let that skew your picture of him. He's nice, pretty cute, and just generally cool. I don't see anything, but I'm not ruling them out.

BUT - there is one HUUUUUGE problem with all these guys. They're kind of my co-workers. Which really rules anything out, because really, how bad would that be? TO get together, break up, and then have to see eachother in a small group daily. Very bad.

So the moral of the story is that i need to keep it in my pants, and realize that GUYS ARE FRIENDS, NOT PEICES OF MEAT TO CHOOSE FROM.

hahahaha, i love myself.
how's your life going?

Homecoming

Homecoming was fun. A ton of fun. I didn't have a date, I didn't slow dance, but I did have fun. And that's all that matters.

I did just about everything on my list, which is good. And if anyone emails me the pictures, I'll put some up so you can see my dress. It was fab. All my friends said I won the pretty dress competition.

Ugh, I'm so tired I don't even know what I'm typing. So I'll leave you before things get incoherent.

BUT - no-eye-contact-guy was there!! BUT - he left after like, two hours. RIGHT BEFORE I GOT TO ASK HIM TO DANCE.

I'm still pissed.

Ugh.

Alrighty then

Today is Homecoming. And I am going.

Dateless, but still going. And I'm going to have a blast.

But, because I know you all just want to know EVERYTHING that I'll be doing, I'm making you a list!

1. Do homework. And do it fast. I'll be out all night, and then REALLY EARLY tomorrow I have to do horse stuff because they switched my class times. Urgh.
2. Eat something small. Like waffles.
   
3. Put on some real clothes (not showering yet, my friend wants to do my hair for the dance,and if i wash it and let it dry now, it'll be messed up by the time I'm over there) and go buy some shoes to wear (yikes, late, i know)
4. Come home, finish any homework I did not yet do.
5. Eat something small again. Like a salad or fruit.
6. Paint nails (finger and toe) to match dress. (toe depending on if I wear open toed shoes) Most likely black and blue.
   
7. Gather dress, make up supplies, brushes, shoes, music, etc. into one large tote. (excluding dress)
   
8. Take a shower. Blow dry hair. Pray that my subtle tan lotion has some effect on my vast whiteness. (ACTUALLY, off topic, but the other day I was talking to my friend Kevin, and I was saying "Oh, or Alaska, it would be cool to live there." and then I remember that Palin is Gov. and so I go, "Oh, but Palin's there. And she would probably shoot me." and he's like "Whaaaa-?" and I'm like "Like a polar bear. DON'T SHOOT! I'M NOT THAT WHITE!" and he cracked up. Good times in History class.)
9. Want to, but restrain from putting on a layer of subtle make up. Because most likely someone will want to do that, too.
10. Have mom drive me to my friend Laura's and get all girled up. Be told "Oh, STOP IT Jessica" at least three times for saying something like "But it's that a little... fancy?" or "But can't I just wear it down?" or "WHY CAN'T I WEAR JEANS!?"
    
11. Get driven to Olive Garden, sit at a table with both my friends who have dates, and the one's who don't.
12. Feel jealous, but not show it.
13. Get over jealousy because their dates are either friends or jerks.
14. Eat pasta. Probably spill on my $100 dress. Why Italian? Why?
15. Get driven to the Country Club.
16. Dance, and be merry. Except for slow songs. Then be sad and brooding.
    
17. Make a fool of myself with my inability to dance. (Can you say Elaine?)
18. End of dance (midnight) , and get driven to Dairy Queen.
19. Be loud and obnoxious, and order fries to make up for small meals through the day.
20. Get driven back to Laura's, pick up my clothes, and go home.
21. Sleep for a maximum of... 5-6 hours.
    
22. Go do horse stuff!!!!!!! YAY TROTTING! (Aka, me running along side horse who wants to rip my arm off. FUN STUFF!)
23. No, I'll actually have a great time, and I think lessons end early. So I'll go home and sleep some more. And do any left over homework.
    

I'll get back to you tomorrow to tell you what I did off my list....

<3

another pointless blog post

with little to no real content.

but as I was walking home today, i was feeling a bit ill. because i wasn't feeling very good this morning but i still went to school (and ran 1 1/4 miles thank you very much)and i was pretty much in that mood where you want to curl up and die.

BUT THEN i turned on my mp3 player and listened to Kate Nash's Foundations, and i felt 100% better.

it was a miracle.

AND now i'll take up space with some of my fave loldogs:

The author of this blog is classy.

Not.

Or so says my good (best) guy friend.

Because: (and I want all of your feedback on this, do you agree/disagree with me, or my friend? And why)(wow, that sounds like an essay test question, haha)

I found out that a mutual friend of ours (mine and HG's) was wiling to pass on the message/hint that I liked him. And said mutual friend is a guy, so that is a bonus, because it won't be a chick who goes "OHMYGOD HG! Jessica totally thinks you're dreamy! Do you like her!?!?"

Now, in my world (yes, I live in a separate world) that is perfectly acceptable. I think it gives with the liker and the likee a kind of safety net. If the likee says no, the liker does not have to experience the rejection first hand, and the liker does not have to feel bad or pressured by the liker asking them.

And if the likee does like the liker, then there isn't much problem, the message gets back to the liker, and everything goes relatively smoothly.

So, here's my question: is it not classy/weird of me to think that this is an acceptable practice? I mean, people do it all the time, right?

Right?!

haha, nice.

Jessica --

[noun]: A master of storytelling

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You have got to be kidding me...

So my computer started acting up a few days ago, so a tech savvy friend came over to fix it up, AND ENDED UP DELETING MOZILLA FIREFOX. Aka, where EVERYTHING is for me.

But I fixed it, so it's cool again. Phew.
And some creeper is IMing me on Facebook. Great.

BUT- I had a bit of inspiration to blog abotu today, and it is -you guessed it!- a new guy.

So before you all say the inevitible, "Jeez Jessica, you are such a ho-bag! Can't you stick to liking one guy! GIRD YOU LOINS GIRL!" Remember the whole 'falling out of like' going on.

But here's the scoop on the guy. We are going to call him HG (husky guy), don't ask why, we just are. And I met him at the homecoming game, though I've known him since 7th grade. And because the game was packed, we ended up smashed together on the bleacher, which i thought was nice. AND I would have to say that I actually made a move, not in the physical sense, but in the sense that I tried really hard to make my intentions (jeez, what is this? 1883?)clear. And he sat with me during half time (because you stand for the rest of the game, which was news to me when i went to the first game) and we watched the fireworks and guessed what shape the band was trying to make. (they made pyramids and temples and stuff because our HC theme is Egypt based)

But, as always with me love life, someone has to throw a wrench into the plan. One of my BFFLs just happens to like him as well (can we get any more preteen? I SAW HIM FIRST! WELL... I CALLED HIM!) And so when I leaned across a mutual friend to tell said bffl that I liked this guy, it became a screaming match. Luckily, he had gone to stand with his friends at this point.

Now, mind you, I am not a really violent person. I avoid conflict because I may look big and tough, but I'm a softy. So I was rather pleased that I held my own in this screaming match (which ended with one of our guy friends picking her up around the waist and carrying her down the stairs to wait for her to cool off. I see it as a victory).

Don't get your feathers ruffled though, I know, I know "chicks before sticks/dicks/whatever you want to use that works". The argument really ended with me whining "but you could have any guy you want, can't you leave this one for me?" and her saying that she thought she was going to die when she was carried down the stairs, and us hugging. So I think I've won, but I'm not sure. She has two classes with him, and I have none. So this is tricky. Maybe I'll get her to side with me and help hook us up.

Sigh.

How is your weekend going?

Lets talk about...

Well, again, I find myself without much to talk to you about. But today I decided to type in complete sentences with actual capital letters and punctuation. I feel rather proud of my decision.

So, I decided that because no one (with four lovely exceptions) reads my blog, I get get a bit more personal. Not like creepy personal, like... MY CELL NUMBER IS ### ### ####! kind of personal, but I'm going to let y'all in on a secret. I live in Washington state, in the Seattle area.

I KNOW, I KNOW, WOW. Now you can all stalk me and do whatever you feel like. Whatever.

But, the reason is because I wanted to talk about trying to find a way to go and see John & Hank Green on the... 28th? I dunno, but I'm really excited that they will be here, and I'm going to try to get there.

In other, more relevant news, today is my school's Homecoming game. And of course, as a SUPER FAAAAAN I have to go, and dress up, and be awesome. And I'm really excited about it. Because I love going to football games. I used to be like, "ugh, who wants to go watch a bunch of guys run into each other for hours?" But now I get that it's a social thing, and I love it.

Another thing I wanted to bring up, I'm going to try (try being the key word) to film, edit and post a video this weekend (we have tomorrow off so I have a free day). And I don't know what it will be, but I am thinking it'll either be vloggy or artsy. Still thinking about that.

And for those (the two) of you commented about my last post saying that i was going to try and make my move? Didn't really happen. I may seem peppy and exciting on YouTube, but I'm pretty laid back and quiet irl. And he is EVEN more quiet and laid back, so you can see how this is a problem. And I may be falling out of like with him, but I'm not 100% sure.

UGH. It's 2:47 and I'm heading over to Tex's house to go to the game at 5:45. That's forever. UGH. Well, I guess it gives me more time to get spirited.

Ah well, what are your weekend plans?

So

I freaked out today because Rohan (robofiillet) commented me. Which goes against his last post on the non-existence of youtube fame. But if you read this, the comment was very well received, please feel free to leave another!

And i have two words that describe today. Shot down. No details, because it's a messy topic.

But about no-eye-contact-guy... I think I'm going to make a move tomorrow... Wish me luck!

xx
Jess

wow

it's been a while. sorry people.

so i AM going to homecoming now. 100% for sure. am going dress shopping today in fact. and getting a hair cut. so i'll be busy. but i just wanted to give you a bit happier post than i did last.

and i have a topic (OMG A POST WITH SUBSTANCE!) to talk about. bad news for someone else that = good news for you. an example would be like... the guy that asked you to homecoming (before your crush could) gets sick the night before and you get to go with your crush. guy #1 will be feeling lousy, but you still get to go with your crush. bad news for him, good news for you.

but sometimes i'll be in this situation, and i'll realize what s bad thing it is to be happy about someone's unhappiness, especially if it's a friend.

i b4ing this up because a little while ago, i got someone's bad newss, and it made me unbelievably happy. which sucks, really. because i know for sure this person is unhappy, and i'm rather gleeful.

OH, and this is for all you guys out there:

AXE DOES NOT SMELL GOOD. EVER. STOP BUYING IT.

I am feeling ill

because we got this new hand soap and it has a really strong scent and i am very sensitive to smells. Sigh.

I joined creative writing club today. It was pretty neat. Maybe a bit over my head as i am a closet-writer. Ah well.

And I am still waiting to be asked to homecoming. Chances are becoming more and more slim as the days go by...

Morning

Today is a good day. Or - at least, it is shaping up to be a good day. Actually, my day started off talking to one of my best buds on the phone for over an hour, 11-12 something. And it was a very good conversation, so it made me happy. Very happy. Even though, really, I was too tired to be happy.

And secondly, I don't have too much homework, which is amazing. Because i work/volunteer at the horse place for 5 hours every Sunday, which doesn't leave a lot of time. But i get a lot of horse time in, which is yayyyy.

Thirdly, my cat is sleeping on my lap, which is just a good thing.

Fourth, I'm about to go check out this cute little dress store for a homecoming dress. With one of my best pals, which will be so fun.

And fifth, I'm going, well, kind of going to a party tonight. Really, I'm chilling at the house where the party is happening, without really being invited to the party. But it will still be fun. We're going to bake a cake.

Hopefully everyone else is having a good day too.

Are you?

I have

4 followers. This is huge for me.

AND non-eye contact guy - yeah. he made eye contact with me. I was like.... JOLTED with a zillion volts of electric blue. It was amazing.

But then again, it did make me so dizzy that I nearly asked him to homecoming... YIKES.

I must gird my loins more carefully.

How was your week, you four awesome followers?

Ugh

I was/am sick today, which means i felt like crap, and thus was not very observant, and thus never saw the guy i spoke about in the last post. Which is kind of a bummer.

And now I'm going to bed to get my full 8 hours and wake up refreshed, etc. I know this was a crappy update, but i just wanted to let you know I've not forgotten you!

And Charlie- it would be totally cool to follow my&dan's other blog. He would get a kick out of it. AND I miss commenting you. D:

i'm sorry

but i'm in love with your brother.
yeah, i know how it didn't exactly work out last time, but today was different.
i've never really talked to him, not that today was a big heart to heart, but at least he wasn't saying "yeah, she's home. i'll go get her." on the phone.
and watching him today, watching him feel so dejected, so frustrated that he couldn't play with all of them, it really struck a cord. and watching him talk to the little kids, it was really sweet.
i guess i never really saw that side of him, and when i saw him up close today, i realized it was the first time i've really seen his face. and i'm sorry that i used to say he looked like you, but now that i've seen him up close, i know you guys look nothing alike.
i might not let on about it for a while, maybe i'll keep poking fun at him and the fact he's always on his xbox. but you can be sure as hell, that i am going to be over at your house like every day.

For sure.

CHECK IT OUT

new blog. it's in my profile or however you find other people's blogs.

yes, it is the dan & i blog.

i know. it's totally crazy that it worked out.


<3
jess

You've done it again Charlie - or - Eye contact

Gone and inspired me (again). Thanks.

Dear perfect-guy-who-doesn't-make-eye-contact,

Did you know I'm infatuated with you? Because I am.
I went and bought an Ella Fitzgerald song after you got all excited about her name being on the whiteboard, and when i asked why you were so excited, you replied that she is was the most amazing jazz singer of all time? Lullaby of Birdland. I think we could probably dance to it at our wedding. It's got a nice beat to it. You made me look at jazz through nonjudgmental eyes. Thank you.

And do you have any clue how thrilled I was when you didn't raise your hand at camp, when the editor asked who had a significant other? Very thrilled.

But you are so... Shy? I'm not sure the word. You're quiet, but not in a withdrawn way, but an observant way. Like you're thinking, "I should take everything in, with no distractions". But you never make eye contact, and when you do, when we're talking and i glance at you out of the corner of my eye, and you are looking at me, it's awesome. Not like "Wooooooaaaah, aaaaawwweeeesommme duuuuude!" but like, the Grand Canyon awesome.

And the best part is, there i a light at the end of this tunnel. This is nothing like the holes I've dug for myself before, there is a chance at something with you. For the first time, something really might work out.

How absolutely crazy is that?

Lucky you

I'm in a double posting mood today. But if this turns out, it should be a pretty deep post. This is about self reflection. This is about letting go. This is about holding on. This is about me.

It's a bit like a reintroduction, with less sarcasm and more actuality.

I'm Jessica. I'm 16, and I'm a sophomore in high school. I'm a B- student, with the potential to be a B+ student if I worried less about looking cool. I live with my mom, dad and brother in a pretty nice house. We're a middle class family with enough to enjoy ourselves. We go on vacations every year to fun places, and I spend the majority of the time acting like I'm too cool to really enjoy it.

I have tons of friends, and I make more very easily. I am a people person. I love people in general. I want to know everything about them, I want to know what they're thinking at any moment. Do they all have the same thoughts that I do? Do they sit there in class and wonder if anyone else is wondering about what everyone else is thinking? I wonder why I scare people. I'm not as big and scary as I like to joke about. I'm really pretty laid back. I like to think of myself as someone you would want to know.

I can keep secrets, and I always feel so inexplicably touched when people trust me enough to share theirs with me. I love telling my secrets, the ones about me. I don't know why, but I always love it, the rush of putting yourself out there for people to criticize and judge. Maybe that is why I want to write for a living so much. I wish people would ask me about myself more. And I really wish that when they did, they really wanted to know.

I love having the kind of conversation that last for hours, and when it ends, I still feel like we could talk for hours more. But I never seem to have those with the people I really want to. Sure, having a heart to heart with my girl friends is amazing, but what about the person that I can't get out of your head? The one who I want to tell your secrets to the most. The one who I want to hear them and choose not to judge me, but to accept me for what I am.

I obsess over things. Books and movies are the usual suspects, but from time to time, a guy comes along that I put all of my energy and effort into. It never works out. I always end up annoying my friends and getting a whole lot of nothing.

Thats not all of me. Thats not half. Mom just asked me if I want to go to the zoo. So I have better plans now.

Sorry

that I have dropped the ball lately. But two things have happened.

1. I started high school,and actually have a life now. And homework.
2. I went to my first ever high school football game. (AND WE WON!!)

So my life has been pretty busy lately.

Oh, and I forgot numba three.
3. My parents now allow my half an hour of computer time a night. No matter how many papers I have to type, how many issues i have to research, etc.

So yeah. It's hard for me to use my little time for anything other than school, but i will try. Promise.

But school has been good. No terrible teachers or weird classes. It's been pretty normal.

So I'll try to get back on here tomorrow, but if not, you now know why. It's not because I don't love you. Blame my parents.

today was better

much better.

Because i went to lunch with some of my pals, and they made me get a burger that wasn't normal. Because i always get a normal one. so i got a bacon cheeseburger, minus the cheese and mayo. I love Red Robin.

And then we went back to my friend's house and i dug in her front yard, and we used her garden claw as a javelin.

and none of this will make sense. but i am happy again.

that should make sense. And school starts tomorrow. Woot.

why?

why is it that right when i get my life on track, right when I'm about to start something new and exciting, one of the only constants in my life decides to drop a bomb? right when i feel so good about myself...

and why is that bomb something that hurts me so much?

and why did this constant have to do it now? my life was just going back to a place where i was happy. and it might be hard to believe, but I'm not happy a whole lot.

and why was it THIS constant? the one who's opinion i regard so highly, the one who i go to unfathomable lengths to impress?

why?

(and no, this is not guy trouble.)

SHOPPING!!!!1!!!!!1!!!11!!!!

SO I went back to school shopping with my mom today. And got my hair cut.

Haircut first. The lady who did it was very nice, we talked about dogs the whole time, and i ended up getting less done than i had expected. But i have side bangs again, they're cool.

And shopping. I love going to the mall and seeing all the guys and thinking, wow, I can actually go out with them because I am in high school too. Really, that's what I think. And I got a bunch of new clothes, mostly basics i can mix and match with. Mom is cool to shop with, because I'm not girly, and she is, so we even each other out. My friends are always happy when i shop with my mom, because then I get 'girl clothes'.

Sorry it was kind of dull. I'm going to the fair tomorrow, so that'll be SUPER FUN!! Seriously, I'm so excited.

Lets talk about something rather serious.

To me, at least.

So the 25th was my back to school fair. Which isn't at all fair-like. Just a lot of paperwork. And the cool kids from the Medival club. Neat.

But I was looking forward to this because I'm the kind of person who doesn't really get together with people very often. I love hanging out with people, I love it. But people usually think I don't. Because I don't like going out much.

Now, that sounds creepy, like I'm a scary little hermit. But I just like being at home, or someone else's home. I just don't need to go out and spend money to have a good time. But I do like going to parks. That's fun. And free.

But so I was excited about reconnecting with all my pals, but the thing is, they didn't seem to be as enthusiastic as me. And, like always, I was on the outside of the circle. Literally. And I guesss that they'd all hung out this summer. Me, not so much.

So I'm a bit bummed. But I bet things will go back to the way they were as soon as we all see eachother again. Which means i'll be awkward and on the outside, like always. Ah well.

I are 16

It's not very different from 15 yet.

BUT I am now the proud owner of a JVC Everio Hard Disk Camcorder.


And my party is today, so that will be awesome. But I get to go do horse stuff first. Hopefully Cowboy will behave himself and I will have nothing but good things to say about him at said party....

And Jonathan (hope I spelled it right...) thanks for praying for me, it's probably a good thing to have the big guy on your side.

Happy birthday to me.....
And Rupert Grint, aka Ron of Harry Potter. Cool, huh?

Religious peoples

don't be offended by what I'm about to say. (I hate saying that because chances are, you'll still be offended)

I love that you are being all supportive and saying "Give it a try." or "Try it again." But I'm done with that point in my life. I was SUPER religious growing up, and I used to really enjoy the whole thing, but now, to tell you the truth, I find it dull. And rather pointless.

THIS IS MY OPINION, it's not right or wrong.

I'm just tired of the whole buisness. Maybe I'll have some sort of huge disaster occur in my life and I'll go back to it, but until then. I really have no need. I'm loving my life the way it is.

I've been inspired... Again

by Charlie. And I'm also listening to Kate Nash's 'Mouthwash' which is just inspiring on it's own.

But this post's title should be "Let's Talk About The First Day Of School" because it is a topic that has a thousand opinions tied up in it.

Okay, so I am one of the people who LOVES the first day of school. I don't really hang out with my school friends during the summer, so I get to see all of them again, which is awesome. Except that they've all gone off to somewhere fabulous and lost a trillion pounds and gotten their hair done and gone through at least two boyfriends. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: Hey ____! God, you look amazing!
Friend: Haha, thanks Jess, you look just like you always do, you never seem to change.
Me: Oh, uh. Yeah. What did you do over break?
Friend: Oh, jeez, what didn't I do? I was in Hawaii for like, three weeks, that was amazing, I met this guy and then I went to Europe, got back three days ago and.... Well, what did you do?
Me: I uh.... Beat three bosses in Zelda in one week. And then I attempted to work on one of my novels, the sci-fi one, but didn't get very far. I went to Montana and got to work on a ranch for a while, that was cool.
Friend: Um, yeah, sure. Oh, I see ________, catch up with you later.

And then I go hang out with the awesome band geeks who love me.

I'm not the biggest shopper, so back to school clothes shopping is never on the top of my list. But every year I attempt to reinvent myself, and always end up falling back to the good old jeans and a t shirt look. Some people come back looking like they hired a stylist and wardrobe crew. And I just look like my mom dragged me to the mall.

But I also like getting my schedule, and checking to see who's in my classes. I love it when there's only like, one obscure friend in a class. It gives me a chance to branch out.

I also see where people who hate the first day are coming from. Everyone judges you, and it doesn't matter if you're the prom queen of the lowest band geek, every one's going to be eying you, making sure you didn't make a drastic change over the summer and get beautiful, or go the opposite way. Girls scope out the guys from last year, see if they grew out of the block head stage they were in last year, and guy, well. I don't know what guys do. I'm not one.

And all the while, you're trying to decide what you want to be this year. Do you want to branch out so far you're in a totally new group? Do you want to hang back with all your old friends? Are you going to go out for that club, or try out for that play? Are you going to sit in the front, or the back? Be teacher's pet or class clown? And the tricky thing is, everyone else is also trying to figure out what they want to be, and at the same time, they are trying to figure out what everyone else wants to be.

And really, all you have is the first week before you're stuck as whatever they label you. Sure, you can be all "I don't have a label, I'm just me." But chances are, they'll make a label for you, like "That kid who doesn't have a label."

And of course, on top of all of that, you have to deal with actual school work. Because we ARE talking about school here. So you have to deal with teachers who may or may not hate you for no reason.

But that's a different topic. Teachers are a different breed of people.

Lets talk about birthdays.

(This post isn't as suckish as the past ones have been. Give me a few days and I'll be good as new!)

No, don't worry, you haven't forgotten m birthday, that's coming up on the 24th.

But I was thinking about them, and I thought I'd share my thoughts with you. Because that's how this whole 'blogging' thing works.

So, birthdays happen once a year, and that's cool with me. It's kind of like Christmas, how you wait all year and then get a heap of stuff and some happy, religious music. Only, on your birthday, your little brother doesn't also get stuff. (Except when I turned 9 and got really big presents, so my grandparents got my little bro stuff too so he wouldn't be jealous. I was mad.)It's YOUR day. Which is cool.

But, it is also like Christmas in another way. You wait and wait for it, and then, BAM, it's over. And if you're like me, you never really feel older on your birthday. Looking back now, I go "Wow, I sure am older than I was then." But on the actual day, I just feel the same.

A friend of mine recently turned 16, and when I asked "How do yo feel, now that you're 16?" they replied "I feel older. 15 felt young."

Now, this is an opinion, yes, but I can't quite understand how one just feeeeeeeeeels older.

I feel older every time my hips do something funny, and I have to wait to regain movement in my legs. I believe this happens because I have a calcium deficiency and my body hates me. And yes, mother is going to make me see a doctor eventually.

Don't even get me started about what my knees do...

I smell

like wet horse. And it's not as bad as wet dog, but it still sucks.

Because the girl I worked with today at the horse place, she got to give the horse a bath, which meant that I did all the washing, and she got to giggle and spray me with the hose a bit.

And so I'd be brushing him, and reach up to smooth down his hair, and BAM! my hand is covered in white hair. Just COVERED. Ugh. But it was OK, because he's a sweet horse. And then I had to pick his feet, so i leaned against him so he would shift his weight, forgetting that he was wet. That was great. Like getting your shoes soaked, and feeling the water squish up through your toes everytime you take a step, only he was the shoe, my shirt was the sock, and I was the foot. And the best part is that he has FOUR FEET! so I got soaked EVERY TIME! Yay!

And then I wandered around the barn and gave everyone carrots. And one of the horses threw a fit because i only gave her one. And I had to bribe her into being quite by shoving two more carrots into her stall.

This update wasn't amazing, but charlie hasn't posted yet, so I don't have any inspiration.

Uuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmm....

I messed around with my relationship status on facebook to see how people reacted, and everyone was a bit freaked out. I got a few emails and comments, etc. asking me why I hadn't told people about my boyfriend.

That was funny. And surprising, because I hadn't thought that people would actually believe I had a boyfriend. Hmm... Interesting.

I'll get inspiration soon. Promise.

Just a quick... Thing. Dan et moi are planning a co-blog. So be watching for updates on how that's working out. The only big problem so far, is that I am an 'every day onliner', and he is an 'every few days onliner'. This irks me slightly. Just slightly.

Ugh

I realized I forgot to update about horse stuff on Thursday. It was rather dull, I side walked with a new girl and horse, so that was interesting. BUT...

Q IS BACK!!!!

And her lovely british accent is as lovely as ever. And she was nice to me, and it was just AWESOME.

I have to go do horse stuff again in... half an hour. So I'm gonna go finish watching j0ames's videos and I'll update or post or something later.

So

I'm sitting her and thinking "I haven't posted a blog today. Something feels amiss." So I thought I would post one.

Today I went on a bit of a road trip and met my cousins halfway to pick up my grandma. I don't see these cousins often, and they are my only "real" aka 1st, cousins.

The oldest is only about a year older than me, and she and I are probably the closest of any of the kids in our family.

I have a sense this is going to get boring, really fast.

SO ANYWAYS-

I'm sitting here, eating tuna, like, from a can, and I think it's rather dry. I don't know why I think this. All I know is that I want ice cream, bad.


MY GOODNESS, what am I ON? This post was horrible. A total Filler post. I'll make it up to you soonish.

<3

If

you have an intrest in obtaining my (jess's) hand in marriage at some point in the future, near or far, you should watch these videos. Because if you don't our holy union could be DOOMED for FAILURE. (If you have a hard time paying attention to anything serious for more than five minutes, watch the same two clips, with commentary, lower down in the post. I watched the second pair, because I am speical.)

Seriously, watch the second pair.



And then part two...



If, after these videos, you realize that YES! We ARE ready for marriage, there is something wrong with you. I'm not even 16 yet. DID YOU SEE THE Age when married' graph for women. Married at 15 was like FAILURE.

And if, after these videos, you say, "Gee wiz, I didn't realize that Jess and I were so un-ready for marriage!" then, HOORAY!

And for all you lovely ADD kiddies who want to get hitched, here are the clips for you.

ONE...


TWO...

My cat

is such a tease.

She's all "PET ME! PET ME!" and so I'm all "Awww, hey kitty!" and she's like "Ooooh, nevermind, I'm going to run a short distance away to make you chase me!" And i'm all

"Fat chance, kitty."

Sorry

Sorry today's post was slightly sub-par. If I had more time, I'd have made it TONS better. IT's a bit too listy for me.

Ah well, I have a really interesting idea coming up this week. MY brother is actually counting to 30 expecting me to get off.
Sweet.
Not.

Well, I'll get a real, awesome post out soonish. HOPEFULLY.

lol, he's gonna play Maple Story. How girly. "OMG MY LEVEL 21 JUST GOT PWND BY A SNAIL!!!!"

Tragic, bro, truly tragic.

My mommy

is having a freak out.

Because I haven't done the dishes yet. And the roofer is coming over.

ZOMG HE'LL JUDGE US!?!?!?!

Lets talk about something stupid

AKA banned books.

I have a little under an hour to kill, so I thought I would express my opinions on the topic. (Thanks to Charlie for inspiring me. AGAIN.)

So let me begin with saying: I am a reader. It is something I enjoy doing, and something that I spend most of my time doing. I read all different genres, and all different authors. I have so many books that they take up 2+ floor to ceiling bookshelves, and that isn't even all of them. I don't even want to guess at how many books I've read.

But I remember back in elementary, our school librarian explained to us what a banned book is. I was of course, disgusted because Winnie The Pooh was on that list. I was horrified at the fact that grown ups couldn't like a book just because it was about stuffed animals that talked. How could anyone be so thick-headed?

A Google search found me a page of the 11 most frequently challenged books 1990-2000, and I thought I'd go through some of them that I am familiar with.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, is a book I read a shortened version of in maybe... 4th grade. I thought it was a fun story, lots of adventure. It taught some values, a thing which many books now seem to forget to do.

Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling. This series has been challenged since the day it came out. Witchcraft is of course a touchy subject with the religious set, but in truth, Rowling did not create the series to teach young adults that they should attempt to become a witch or wizard themselves.

The Giver by Lois Lowry is one of the most intriguing books I believe I have ever read. It was one of those books that really makes you think, that makes you say, 'would I have done the same thing ___ did?' I found the book very inspiring.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger is a book I am familiar with, but have not yet read. I plan to change that soon.

The Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine was a staple to every boy in my class from 3rd grade to 6th grade. I could never read them because I was a scardy cat, and they gave me nightmares. They were fun books that gave you chills, but often, you were just left laughing at the stupidity of the situations the characters got themselves into.

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle, is possibly one of my favorite books. I attempted to read the rest of the series, but was never as impressed. I would stick this book with The Giver, and call it a book that inspired me and made me think on another level.

Go Ask Alice by Anonymous is a book I could never get my hands onto. In 7th grade, a girl discovered it in our school library, and word got around that it was a pretty cool (as in dirty and drug filled) book. Of course, every girl HAD to read it, and I could never get it for myself.

Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George just adds to the list of inspiring books that made me think. As an animals lover, I loved the idea of a girl being able to find her place among a wolf pack. I cried when things went wrong, and cheered when something positive happened. I was very emotionally attached to the characters, either with two legs or four.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. My 6th grade teacher showed us this movie, in all it's black and white glory, and I was enthralled. Of course, it took over three days to watch because we had to get all of our other subjects in. But I have not yet managed to read the book. Like The Catcher in the Rye, I plan to change this.

A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein. I first experienced this book in the torn and tattered form that my mother had held onto for ages. I loved all of his witting, thought provoking, humorous poetry. I could never seem to figure why people would dislike it.

James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl. The movie scared me when I was 8, and I never got around to reading the book. Maybe I should...

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson was a book recommended to me by my grandmother. It is possibly one of the first books that made me cry openly. I was very deeply wrapped up in the characters and found this book stunning.

Another book that made me think was The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney. In 5th grade, a friend of mine discovered it in the library, and being as she was the most popular girl in our class, EVERYONE had to read it. Of course, it did make me think I had been abducted for about a day or two...

Lord of the Flies by William Golding. My brother, 12, read this book last year for class. He said it was very interesting, and now I find that I will have to also find a copy of this book. Well I guess that's a good thing being as I don't own any books I haven't read, I need some more.

Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford. Now, pardon my french but, WHAT THE HELL? WHAT'S WRONG WITH WHERE'S WALDO?!>!@>@!>@$!!>~>?~?~?

(for the full list, see http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/100mostfrequently.cfm )

Another bit of information is that the "2009 Banned Books Week will be held on September 26–October 3". (ALA) "BBW celebrates the freedom to choose or the freedom to express one’s opinion even if that opinion might be considered unorthodox or unpopular and stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of those unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints to all who wish to read them. After all, intellectual freedom can exist only where these two essential conditions are met."
More information at http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bannedbooksweek.cfm

So, in summary, I believe that no books should be banned based on content, or whatever. Books are written to be read. If you dislike a book, DON'T READ IT. You don't have to go and ruin it for everyone else.

This topic irks me to no end. Why ban books? ARGHHH.

Oooh, my timing was excellent. only 10 minutes to go. Sweet.

<3

WOOOOAAH, double posting.

Well, I had more to say, but it doesn't relate to that last post. But if I had giving this post an actual title, it would have been "Lets talk about this OTHER amazing guy at J-camp" because I am shallow, and always has a fallback option.

And there shall be no name used in this post, because THIS guy actually goes to my school. And he will be writing on the paper with me. And there is a chance that at some point, people from the paper WILL SEE this blog. And well, I'm going to try to make this one actually work. As in a thing between me & the guy. Who we shall calllll........ MG. Because I just thought about what we should call him for a loooong time, and got nothing. (MG like mystery guy. Clever, I know)

This is probably going to look bad, after being like "zomg dan iz so k00l!!1!" and now being like "MG is such a great guy." But i don't feel like getting into details, but believe me, I am justified in everything. SO DON'T JUDGE ME.

So lets see... There isn't a heck of a lot to say about MG. He's really pretty quiet, not like shy, just quiet. And occasionally I would have a really interesting conversation with him, and I would be like "Woah, this guy is crazy smart." Because he is/was. And after a bit of asking around my friends, I have found that they all think he is a really sweet, genuine guy. Which I think would be good for me. I think if anything happened, it could be a pretty low drama kind of relationship.

I know, I know, no relationship is low drama. But a girl can hope, right? And he just doesn't seem like the type of guy that would cause drama. He's a year older than me, and a year about me, grade-wise. So chances are, I wouldn't have to deal with any of my 'close' friends also being interested in him. (God, I sound really sad and pathetic again. Ug.)

And to top off the list of smart, genuine, sweet guy, he is devastatingly good looking. Almost in a... Rugged movie star kind of way. And the fact that he was always willing to have a conversation with me is pretty cool too. Because lots of people find me... Frighteningly outgoing, and I scare them. A friend of mine actually told me that I was no longer allowed to talk to one of her friends because I scare her so badly. I felt pretty bad when she told me, because I just thought I was being nice.

In a way, I'm kind of like a really big puppy. One that doesn't realize it is too big to sit on your lap. Th kind of puppy that you get when its tiny and then by the end of the first months it's over a foot taller and you think "Oh god what have you gotten yourself into?" I'm the kind of puppy that doesn't realize that I will probably hurt you while playing. All I know is that I'm being nice and playing the way I would with other puppies (otherwise known as outgoing people like me).

But back to the subject at hand- He didn't seem to mind that I was just a big, outgoing puppy. Which was cool, because I have a feeling (and people have told me this many times) that I scare guys away. I won't go into my man-catching techniques, because they are top secret and dangerous to those who can't handle them correctly. But I use a lot of sarcastic humor, which, even alone, is pretty scary. Couple that with hormones and "feeeeeeeeeeelings" and it's deadly.

Well there was my first post on MG. Hopefully you'll hear more positive things about him in the coming weeks.

Hopefully.

No title fits this post

Because it is a very strange post.

So yesterday, I was at an author event/concert, and there was a point (like, an hour) where I was standing in line with my friends to get my book signed. And while we were in line, obviously we were talking. And apart from asking every random person around us "Hey, what would you and a buddy do?" I was trying to tell them about journalism camp, but really, I have found that if you didn't go, it just isn't as interesting. So no one but my mom took real interest. Which is sad. But hey, I accept it.

But so in between me saying things like "But wait, it gets more interesting when we start talking about the different type of leads!" (I have learned that if you aren't a journalist, you aren't interested in the different type of leads.) I remembered something I saw on spring break in San Fransisco, and I thought I would share it with you. It was one of those times where you really, really wonder if there is a hidden camera, because it is just that stupid.

So my parents wanted to make sure that we were the most touristy tourists to ever visit San Fran, and so we HAD to ride the trolley. And so we took it from one end aaaaalllll the way to the other, and ended up right at this three story Forever 21. But I was broke at this point, so no shopping happened.

And we decided to wait until the next trolley came to get on and go back, so we could look around the downtown area. And of course, when you are in a strange city, what do you do? Find their Coldstone. Duh. So we did, but it was about a million degrees in there (crazy, right? it's an ICE CREAM PLACE!) and i really didn't want to wait in the mile long line in the heat, so i waited outside.

And here is where the stupidity starts. I'm leaning against the front window of coldstone, trying to look like a native, and this... older teenage couple, maybe early 20's, were standing across the sidewalk from me. And it was very obvious they had been arguing. She looked pissed off, and he looked confused. And so as I'm standing there she goes, "Like, when we went to your house last night?! We did nothing." and he still looks confused and says, "What do you mean we did nothing? We always do stuff." And the girl glares at him and says, "PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IS NOT MY IDEA OF STUFF." and then she continues yelling at him for about 5 minutes, while he just keeps trying to hug her, and she keeps spitting at him. Seriously. I was like, WTF?!

And so after she calms down a bit, she stops spitting at him, and just starts spitting on the ground. And then she accidentally spits on her shoe. And I was like 'Here we go again...' because she BLOWS UP when he pulls a (who the hell still has these) handkerchief out of his pocket and goes to clean off her shoe. How much more whipped can you get, seriously. And of course, she just starts dropping the f bomb left and right, and my little brother just happened to come out at that point, so I had to shoe him back inside.

And after she got all of that rage out, she was just standing there with her face in her hands, possibly crying, though it could have been an act, and the guy goes, "Well, are you coming over tonight?" and she goes, "Yeah, what we gonna do?" And he's like "Play video games?" and he is SERIOUS! I wanted to throw something heavy and possibly sharp at him. Even though I am the type of girl who wouldn't mind just playing video games, she obviously wasn't.

And so she runs off down the street and he chases after here, and this is the last bit of dialog i get is, "We can take a walk!" "Where the hell are we gonna walk?" "We could walk around my apartment. It's big!"

This was where I was like. Hoooooly crap. I must be on candid camera. But I wasn't. It was real. And pathetic. And sad. And I felt bad for him, because she was really probably just PMSing.

Poor guy.

AHA!

I have found inspiration for a new post. THANK YOU CNN!

OK, so I was getting a glass of water in the kitchen, which is sort of conjoined with my living room, and the TV was on. So I think 'Hey, I'm standing here, drinking water, I could watch some TV WHILE I hydrate.' (I know, I am a genius or something.)

And the CNN lady is talking about a recent medical study involving milk. And she was talking about how this medical study had showed that people who drink more milk, and get more vitamin D, are less likely to die.

I am serious, folks.

And then she went on to say that "And people who do not get enough vitamin D (the picture on screen flashes to a list of foods that give you vitamin D) are more likely to die."

What is the world coming to? Now I have to worry, because I don't drink milk. Which means I will eventually die. Now, for all you milk drinkers, this is not an issue, but for me, this is huge. For god's sake, I AM GOING TO EVENTUALLY DIE! OH NO!

I just love moments like this in the media. The ones where you, the average Joe/Jane go "Um, well duh." And I wonder why more people don't look at this, realize that the media, in all truth, is a very imperfect system, and stop relying on it for everything. YOU HAVE EYES, so you can know what looks good, fashion-wise, and what doesn't. YOU HAVE EARS, you don't have to sit around on your butt, watching TV to get updates on everything. Take the chance, and take a risk, and go out there and actually DO something. Experience things first hand. You don't have to rely on word of mouth, you can find things out for yourself.

I shudder to think what the world may someday become. Really, in all seriousness, I see a future in which we do nothing, all day. Everything is digital, we just have to sit still, and instant gratification will be so instant, all you have to do is think, "I wish I had a hamburger," and it will be so instant, you won't have to eat OR digest it, but you will have had the satisfaction of eating and digesting it. A friend and I discussed this while I was at camp, and I think that that is such a sad, pathetic idea of the future. But the way things are going, it could, again- in all seriousness, be the future we are destined for.

UNLESS- we actually start, here and now, going out and doing things for ourselves. Obama coming to your town? Rather than sitting on your butt, and watching him talk on TV, be one of those thousands of people in the crowd, experiencing it first hand, not the cut up version the media will offer the next day.
OR- rather than scoping out dogs Petfinder.com, (I know, it's a hard habit to kick, I'm a total addict)actually GO TO A SHELTER. I know, I know. I am suggesting that you get off your butt and drive the half hour to go look at dogs that you know NOTHING about, and have the possibility of going home petless. BUT you might find the perfect dog, without having read a sad, three paragraph description that really just says "She's sweet and needs some hardcore training!"

If you know me very well, you are probably sitting here, reading this going "What the hall? Jessica does like, nothing. Why is she talking about this?"

BECAUSE I REALIZE I NEED TO HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I don't want my kids to live in a world where they don't get to experience all of the things, good and bad, that I have. I want them to communicate face to face, more than they do through texts or IM or email.

In the fall, I will be writing for a NEWSPAPER, which is like, an endangered species of press. Yeah, I know, it's MEDIA, but it's still a truer form of media. It's not Wikipedia where god knows who can write god knows what. It is an article with an author, stating facts or opinions. If you have a question about it, you can ask them. Of course, I know this isn't true of all papers, or possibly, not of any. But that is how I see it. And I have never been more glad that I can have an opinion, than I am today.

I can have an opinion on the sheer stupidity of the fact a news team thought it was important to state a study found that by drinking milk, you are less likely to die.

And I am so thankful that I can.

A Non-Dan Related Post

srsly. because I have to call him today from a city bus, and discuss the blog. which will be very weird. and possibly annoying to everyone around me.

Ok,I AM SEEING stephanie meyer TONIGHT!!!!!

Wow, another really short, crap post. SO SORRY. I just need to get to the end of all this.... Uh.... Well, you know.

I'll update for real with something that has nothing to do with me. Like the Zach Sunderland post, or whatever. That was an amazing peoce of writing on my part.


Sorry!
Jess

You know...

What rocks? : I just had a 2+ hour conversation with Charlie. Which was AWESOME!

What doesn't? : I am sitting here, like a worried puppy waiting for thier new owner to let them out of the crate the first night, for Dan to finish reading my blog. SO i'm setting myself up for the possible (more likely eventual) let down. But at the same time... I don't know, I'm getting ahead of myself. And overthinking everything. Oh dear.

Real post tomorrow. Promise.

Gee wiz, another post!

I have like, 40 minutes before I head for the horse place, so I have NOTHING to do but post blogs.

Here is some things that annoy me:

When people ask "why" over, and over and OVER.
People who dress up their dogs.
People who really, REALLY don't get my sarcasm.
People who get my sarcasm, and then laugh REALLY hard.
People who are funny, but think they aren't.

Well, that had no point. Sorry about that.

I am going to be so unbeleivably tired tonight

Because firstly, I have volunteering, which means I have to run in circles with the horse I haven't worked with for weeks, which means i'll most likely get bitten. funnn.

and then, i have to speed home, take ANOTHER shower, and go ice skating with some friends. URGH, i am going to be exhausted.

I might update later. Who knows?

Lets talk about this amazing guy at J-Camp.

And how epicly amazing he was.

A quick explanation: I am joining my school paper staff next year (only sophomore.) and so I went to journalism camp, where you learn the tricks of the trade, bond with your staff and meet amazing people.

That's what I've been saying, "I met amazing people." But what I'm really saying is "I met an amazing person, but I don't want to sound creepy (though I am Deputy Creepy, so I'll just add in some of the people who I never really connected with when I'm gushing about this amazing person.)."

Anyone who is new and has read back a bit, and anyone who is old, and has read everything, this in NOT another cowboy. We are much closer in age, and can have a conversation throughout an entire quiet work period without getting shushed. I've been saying things like "we clicked." But it was more like I clicked with him, and he played along. Which was all I could ask for and more. We ended up exchanging information at the end of camp, and texted back and forth a few times. But I've also been saying "There is a 75-90% chance nothing will ever happen between us." Which would usually crush me, depress me and really just trow me down the hill of pain into the river of woe. BUT. I have a new, positive mindset that I picked up at J-camp, and I am now perfectly happy about my life, and just about everything in it. (Except of course for the fact that my self-proclaimed 'lover' and i will never amount to anything than occasional email buddies. That hurts, but I'll live. I've had worse.) But a last word on Dan. Yes, I'm using an actual name this time. It just feels important enough. He called me cute. Now, many girls would be like "Oh, gee, thanks. *eye roll*" But I don't get that kind of stuff. Ever. And the best thing was that it was so casual I am still wondering if it was a slip up on his part. HE might not even remember it.

After obsessing over another guy's hair for an entire day (he MUST use conditioner) Dan said at one point, "Someone should tell him cute girls like his hair." And inside, I think I felt my heart attempt to rip itself from my chest to find it's way into his possession. And although he did get a significant part, I couldn't give it all away. Not when chances are so slim. Not when there is so much of a chance things won't happen. I wouldn't want to return to that sad, shell of a person I become when that kind of thing happens.

And I write all this in hopes that he reads it. Which is strange, and slightly scary. Because it's a bit like handing the love of your sad little high school life your diary, filled by the play-by-play of your adoration for him, and then standing there while he reads it, watching his eyes grow wider and wider in horror, until he shoves it back into your heartbroken arms and runs like an Olympic gold medalist. But really, I want him to know that however short, and seemingly childish and sarcastic our relationship was, it meant a lot to me. Which is truly a sad little school-girl thing to say, but it's the truth. And though I tell myself repeatedly to stop imagining what could be, or could have been, it always happens. Somewhere, my brain is thinking "but this is what she really wants." And it is, but I can't start doing that again. I don't want to feel that way again. Ever. That sense of helplessness, and hopelessness. But I know I will, and if I can push it farther into the future when I'm more mentally stable, then so be it.

So if you read this Dan, you are amazing. I hope this whole thing lives up to my title, because you have to admit, it's a bit creepy. You are a fantastic, adorable, hilarious, breath-taking guy, and fabulously "fruity" and I was so lucky to get to experience that for the short time that I got to. Truly, I am. And that whole "It was a delight to meet you," thing was my way of not making things awkward and emotional, on my part, at least. So, just know that, I am always up for a few hours of telephone, no matter how dirty it is, or how many times Matt ends up in it. (Your staff/friends was/were amazing too, absolutely terrific.) I'm always just a phone call away.

And now to put the 'total creeper' cherry on top, I'm emailing him with the web address. Now, I must have an emotional death wish. Ah well.

The best to everyone. Sorry for my tantrum a while back, about no one reading. I have known that sad fact for a while, I guess I just realized it then. But I write for me now. Which is good.

Love,
jess

at camp

ubershortsorry.

at journalism camp. it rocks.


gotta go. more later. bye.

learning about InDesign. Total, complete magic.......

Home again.

I was going to fill you in on all the exciting things that happened on my trip.

But then i realized that no one reads this anymore. So why bother?

I've been lazy

But now I'll be gone for a while, so I have a reason to not post.

I'm going to be traveling around with the family for a few days, so I won't be posting, but I should be able to post againg on... sunday? or soemthing like that. I'll be in FORKS!!!!! on the second, same day the last book comes, out, so it could be crazy crowded. Who knows.

It sucks that it's illigal to sell your younger brother. I wouldn't ask much for mine, 100 bucks tops. He's such a pain. You have no idea.

So i'll talk to you all in a week!